On Thanksgiving Day in 2019, I had the urge to get a pregnancy test. My period had not arrived yet. At first, I thought I could be late since my period has never been regular. However there was something that I felt within my soul that made me think it was best to take a pregnancy test even though I wasn’t experiencing any symptoms.
After going through an ectopic pregnancy earlier in my life, I had many thoughts and mixed feelings about a new potential pregnancy. I knew that I was not 100% emotionally ready to be pregnant again. Only a year had gone by and I was still trying to process the fact that I had been pregnant and was starting to get into an exercise regime to get rid of the weight I had gained.
I was excited and thought about how it was something that I so eagerly wanted to experience with my husband. I got a test done and it was not clear whether the two lines had shown up or not. Deep down I knew it was positive but at the same time I had hoped it was not. It was a way to protect myself and not feel excitement.
My husband immediately said, I will go get another test so we are sure. I remember the smell of the pernil that morning. I used to love that smell but that day I felt disgusted with it. Another reason to believe I was possibly pregnant.
I went to my mom in the kitchen and showed her the pregnancy test. Her eyes filled up with tears, but she kept looking at the pregnancy test in deep awe, as if she was studying for the most important test in her life. She said, “parece que si….mejor hazte otro”, “it seems that yes…better do another one”. My husband said, “yo voy por otro”, “I’ll go for another one”.
Those 15 minutes that he was gone to the store felt like an eternity. I could see my future within minutes and I was nervous, excited, scared and happy all at the same time. I kept asking myself what I would do if I was pregnant. Was I even ready to be a mom and care for another human being? Was I prepared emotionally and physically for this little person who would depend on me?
I sat on the couch eagerly waiting for my husband to get back. As soon as he did, he gave me the test and said…. “Ve”, “Go”. I sat in the bathroom waiting for the results to come up. I cried and prayed to God that whatever the result was, that I had the courage and strength to take it.
When I looked at the result I saw a huge cross and cried thinking….I’m going to have a baby! I went and showed my husband…he had a smile that went from ear to ear and was happy to know he was going to become a father – something that he had been telling me since we were young in college.
We took a few minutes to let it sink in. It was exciting to know that we were going to become parents, but I also felt a bit scared knowing that things were not all certain within the first months, especially with me already having an ectopic pregnancy.
I went to the kitchen and showed it to my mom. She started crying out of happiness and hugged me. It was one of the most beautiful feelings I shared with my mom.
My dad was in the living room and I showed him the test and he was clueless about what was going on that whole morning. When he saw it he said, “What?… Wow!… Really?”. He was happy and shocked as well. My husband and I were probably just as shocked as he was.
The best reaction was from my brother. I will never forget him coming in through the front door and my dad throwing the test to him. He looked at it and it took him some time to realize what he was looking at and said, “I’M GOING TO BE AN UNCLE!” and ran to me and hugged me so tight I almost lost my breath.
My sister was also happy and congratulated me. It was one of the best news that I could receive on Thanksgiving Day. We were all thankful that such a beautiful thing had happened on a day where we were all together. It was a better reason to celebrate our family…to celebrate the little one who would soon join us at the table.
Esmeralda Mendez is Mexican-American. She is the proud daughter of immigrant parents and have Latinx roots. Esmeralda is a dancer, poet, and passionate young woman.
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