I’m Okay Not Getting Married

When I moved to North Carolina by myself I came not knowing anyone here. I just wanted a change of scenery and North Carolina was my first pick.

Eight years later, I found myself married with two beautiful daughters and a great career as a teacher. Well, two of those things are still true. My daughters are now growing teenagers and I still love the sight of a classroom full of students.

My divorce came after marriage counseling and other “try to make it work” remedies. It just wasn’t meant to be. I’m okay with that and my daughters with time came to understand why mommy and daddy couldn’t live in the same house. They still have their moments of “What if?” I just say, “Trust me. We are all better off.”

Fast forward to 2018, their father is remarried and I am not. At times I wondered why not me too? Then I quickly remember my dating experiences. It just has never worked out for me. And I think I know why.

I love who I have become. My focus these last ten plus years in the great state of North Carolina has been the well being and preparation of my daughters to be set, sufficient, and strong women. And I’ve done that in the best way possible. I model it.

My daughters have seen me speak at rallies. They’ve seen television and newspaper interviews where I talk about the condition of public school classrooms and fight against unfair policies that stifle their futures and the need to let teachers teach.

My daughters have witnessed me continuing my education and helping others to do the same. They’ve also seen me struggle to pay bills and still survive. They’ve seen me purchase their necessities while wearing decade old clothes. They’ve seen me give back to my community and then come home and cook dinner while helping with homework.

First and foremost, they’ve witnessed me putting them first. I have yet to miss and IEP meeting, a play, a game, or even a birthday. It is vital for my girls to see that mom can be a mom and still handle her professional career as a single woman.

So, no I’m not in any rush to walk back down the aisle (although I’ve caught the bouquet a few times). And that is perfectly fine. Marriage is not for every woman. But doing everything in our power to make this world a better place for our children does take everyone. And preparing our daughters to take over one day is my number one priority, right after fixing dinner and parent conferences.