The End of Men… as Leaders?

>>By Joan Kofodimos      Hanna Rosin’s book The End of Men is making a splash. Rosin’s premise is that women are adapting better to the post-industrial economy than are men. Women are now getting the majority of college degrees and doing better in today’s job market.

Why Are Women Adapting Better To The New Economy?

Rosin claims it’s partly because women possess more of the key capabilities that are essential today – communication skills, emotional intelligence, the ability to “sit still and focus.”

But also, it’s because women are more adaptable to changing circumstances – while men can’t seem to let go of the old ways. This adaptability is a function of men’s and women’s different social positions. Men were top dogs, so for them change means loss. Women were underdogs, so for them change means opportunity. Sticking to old rules about masculinity, careers, and success limits men’s vision and flexibility.

Rosin cites data supporting this notion of adaptability. I’ll quote David Brooks’ summary of her evidence: “A study by the National Federation of Independent Business found that small businesses owned by women outperformed male-owned small businesses during the last recession. In finance, women who switch firms are more likely to see their performance improve, whereas men are more likely to see theirs decline. There’s even evidence that women are better able to adjust to divorce. Today, more women than men see their incomes rise by 25 percent after a marital breakup.”

Many have posed legitimate challenges to these arguments – notably that women are still under-represented in the higher bastions of power and don’t get equal pay for equal work. But something resonates in her arguments about the importance of flexibility in embracing change.

What Exactly, Are The New Demands?

So, let’s segue to a recent post by technology blogger Nilofer Merchant. Social media have transformed how people engage with each other – individuals have more power, new ideas can come from anywhere, collaboration and co-creation are key – and this effect spills into organizational life. Organizations need to respond to the new “social” era by changing how they approach strategy and innovation – becoming more nimble in decision-making, organizing in networks rather than hierarchies, etc.

Rosin and Merchant, I think, have their hands on different parts of the same elephant. But, the change required isn’t one that we can make simply by declaring it a new era, or by applying rational will or cognition. It’s a fundamental developmental shift, one of the key tasks of adult development, as described by Robert Kegan in his book In Over Our Heads. Our modern world requires us to change, adapt, step up to these new demands, let go of “received wisdom” about authority and organizational life. To embrace the new realities of nimbleness and collaboration, the key transformation will need to occur in the mindsets of organizational leaders. What does this transformation involve?

The Old Way …

• accepting the legitimacy of external authority
• deferring to others with authority over you
• using your authority to get compliance from those below you
• wanting to please others that you view as powerful – being “respectful”
• avoiding conflict and communicating indirectly or “off-line” about difficult issues
• not upsetting the apple cart because of the fear of damaging relationships
• creating a rational “persona,” not voicing your personal viewpoint for fear of being seen as selfish

The New Way …

• recognizing that the most important influence is lateral
• seeking commitment rather than compliance – even when you have authority
• treating everybody the same – “respect” does not vary with position
• surfacing conflict openly with all relevant stakeholders
• being able to challenge in a way that deepens, not threatens, the relationship
• building win-win solutions that address the interests of all stakeholders

 Why Is The New Way Scary?

Shifting from the Old Way to the New Way is not an overnight process, and it’s as challenging for women as it is for men. Theorists have been advocating this shift since Mary Parker Follett talked about power-over (the Old Way) and power-with (the New Way) – in 1924! Why hasn’t more changed?

If you are sitting solidly in Old Way thinking, the New Way looks terrifying. It challenges how you have learned to get esteem and see yourself as valuable – by reaching high position in an organization and being able to call the shots. By pleasing powerful people. You’ll need to have your comfort in the first zone challenged – seeing that customary approaches don’t work any more, and that your assumptions about what leads to success aren’t necessarily correct. Would your relationships be damaged if you shared your concerns about your boss’s proposal and tried to influence its shape, or would you potentially gain a deeper relationship and an outcome that both of you agree is “better”? Did your “tribe” of origin really have the only correct set of values? Is the way we always did it going to work in the future? If I messed with my winning formula and ventured into unknown territory, would I fail miserably?

If you want to survive and thrive in the new world, you need to recognize and question your assumptions.

>>Cross posted with permission from Joan Kofodimos. Joan Kofodimos is an organizational psychologist and a founding partner in Teleos Consulting, where she coaches leaders and helps teams implement their strategies. Joan is especially passionate about helping women to lead more effectively. She is the author of several books and articles on work-life balance, executive development, and organizational change. Joan also has played key roles in several NC organizations in the area of special education and developmental disabilities.